I'm going to Guatemala!

Hey friends!!

Wow, it's so crazy that I get to say that - I AM GOING TO GUATEMALA! What?! Ahhhhhh! 

First of all, God is so good. He is so wonderful, merciful and so faithful. 

As most of you know, my family has been going through a tough time. My Dad has Gullian Barre Syndrome, now called CIDP as his condition is chronic, and goes to Toronto for treatment every 6 weeks. He has struggled with this condition for almost 5 years, and still deals with it today. Then, around 2 years ago, my mom was diagnosed with kidney disease. Since her condition declined over those two years, it came to a point where we had to see whether there would be a kidney donor or if she would go on dialysis. Before it was even time for this decision to be officially made, I knew that I wanted to give my mom a kidney. So, for the past few months (mostly in November 2015-January 2016), I went through the kidney donor work-up process. Due to God's grace and answered prayers, all my tests + other assessments came back with great results. So, when the time comes, I will be donating a kidney to my momma. 

In saying all that, the transplant was supposed to happen this summer. This summer, our family decided would be when this transplant would take place, if my mom's kidneys kept declining as they were. But then, God stepped in. 

In November, my mom was at 16% and on the decline. However, 3 months later at her February appointment, we found out that God answered our prayers for stability and for healing, and her kidneys REMAINED the same. She did not get worse. We are all so, so thankful to God for His mercy, His grace, and His faithfulness in our lives. 

Now, how does this relate to my going to Guatemala? Wellllllllll, since the transplant was supposed to happen this summer, I left my summer open for my mom and didn't look into or think about anything else. There was no way I could plan for anything since we didn't know exactly what time of the summer it would have been, just that it would have been then. But, ever since the news of her kidney percentage, and how they remained the same, our (my) summer now has become OPEN. If all goes well and God continues to have His hand on my mom (which I have no doubt in my mind, He will), she will NOT BE NEEDING SURGERY THIS SUMMER. What a miracle!!! We have time! Which is such a great gift from above. 

The Guatemala missions trip opportunity, with the young adult group (&grade 11s+12s) at King Street Community Church, came up at a time when I knew I could not make plans. I was bummed about this, but I knew that giving a kidney to my mom was so important and other opportunities for doing missions would come my way again. However, when we got the news of her kidneys holding the same percentage, I was offered the opportunity to go to Guatemala again. Even though the time had come and gone for the first deposit. 

In this moment - the moment that my young adult pastor reached out to me, offered me an extension for the deposit, shared with me how she feels it would be 'so life giving, challenging and transformative' for me, and that I should think about it and prayerfully consider going - I knew I was meant to go. 

God answered our prayers for my mom. He has worked so many things out for us, so many things out for me. So far beyond what I knew or had any idea about, just so that I could have this chance, this opportunity to go and to serve & do what I love. We will be ministering to students and children through presentations in schools + city centres and partnering with a construction team to help in a building project! As well, we will be serving and helping Hector & Ruth Aragon {the missionary couple we will be meeting up with} in any way we can. 

I feel so called to go + so called to do missions in my life. I don't know what that looks like. Whether that is just this time, or many more times in my future. I don't know. What I do know, is that God has placed a passion inside my heart for the people of this world who don't yet know the Father's love. I have dreamed and prayed about another missions trip opportunity ever since I went to Barbados and saw all those children face to face. I want to serve, I want to love and I want to bring God's kingdom to earth. And now, I have the opportunity to go to Guatemala and be part of something bigger. 

Oh how my heart aches and how my eyes well up when I think about those children, those people, all longing for love. I want to be love and show love, because He is love. My heart also leaps for joy and gets so full when I think about being a light and pointing Jesus out to people. I know He is already there, I know He loves them all so much. I can't wait to point people to Him. Through whatever ways He calls me to. Here is a quote that perfectly sums up missions and the heart of it all, 

"Missions then is less about the transportation of God from one place to another and more about the identification of a God who is already there. You see God where others don't. And then you point him out. So the issue isn't so much taking Jesus to people who don't have him, but going to a place and pointing out to the people the creative, life-giving God who is already present in their midst. "

I am so excited to see what God is going to do in the next 6 months, and what He will do when we are in Guatemala. It would mean so much to me if you would pray for me and the team as we prepare ourselves for this adventure! 

As I always say, I am ready for anything & I hope you are too. 
In omnia Paratus 

Ps. I will be blogging more as I go on this journey so bookmark my blog and check back frequently to stay up-to-date with whats going on! :) 

Resisting Resistance

Hi friends! 

I want to tell you a story that I hope will encourage you. 

Recently, an opportunity arose for me to join a team of young adults to go serve at a soup kitchen downtown Toronto. I had served at this place over three years ago now, and I remember very vividly, not liking it. I was only 16 or 17 and it was very overwhelming & intimidating. My job responsibility at that time, was to serve juice to all of the people that came through for their free, homemade dinner. I remember I didn't feel comfortable talking to the people that came and I remember standing around awkwardly for a lot of the time. 

When the opportunity came up this time round, years later, I felt total resistance. I looked for excuses in every place possible, but none of them followed through. I didn't even get scheduled to work, on a Saturday, when I have open availability. All of these led up to me still wanting to say no. I thought about lying even, which is out of character for me. But I just did not want to go. 

But then, I had a moment when my pastor messaged me asking if I was able to come, where I stopped and did a little heart check. I realized that the resistance I so strongly felt, was my flesh fighting against what I know, Jesus wants us to do while we are here on Earth. 

There are so many verses about loving & serving the needy, but this one hit me when I read it for the first time: 

But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? 
1 John 3:17

How would I be able to feel free from guilt, if I lied about being busy, and turned down the opportunity to go and serve those in need? There was no way! Once I realized what was happening, I knew right away that I needed to resist the resistance that I was feeling, and tell my pastor to count me in. 

And oh my word, I was SO blessed! Our team served at Cornerstone, in the community of Regent Park, downtown Toronto. My job (along with a few other girls) was to serve juice. When that job was offered, I snatched it up because I was determined to try it out again. 

I had such a wonderful experience talking with many different people, looking in their eyes, and seeing their hearts. As I was serving, I felt like I was floating. I felt the presence of Jesus there with me. Even if I got to talk to someone for a minute, asking them what they would like to drink, I felt like I made a connection with them. It was amazing to be able to shine the love of Jesus and my light to those who need it the most. My favourite part was connecting and hearing stories from different people. I even had the opportunity to sit and chat with a woman while she ate her dinner. She was so sweet and even tried to share her treasures she picked up from the store earlier that day. Each encounter warmed my heart! 

Reflecting back on my past experience and comparing it to this time, I would say that because of my job working in retail, I have learned how to approach people that I have never met. This helped so much because I knew how to approach and start conversations out of thin air (ha!) and everyone felt way less intimidating! 

Overall, I just wanted to share this with you guys so that you can see how, when you resist resistance, God can do absolutely wonderful things in AND through you! Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and allow God to stretch you. You might just find that you actually are good at whatever it is, or that you love it, more than you ever thought you would. 

I pray, that when you guys learn to resist the resistance of your flesh, God would bless your hearts & that you, would be ready for anything!! 
In omnia paratus 

God's Grace

Today was a long day. But it was filled with God's grace.

God's grace is unmerited favour, it is kindness from God we don't deserve. 

Today, I was scheduled at Toronto General Hospital (TGH) for a number of tests (including an X-Ray), for my second phase of the kidney donor work up. My first phase consisted of a LOT of blood work, an EKG & a urinalysis. Those results came back fine, and by the grace of God I was able to move to the next phase. The tests today were; more blood work & a glucose tolerance test, a GFR renal scan, a CT scan, and a chest X-Ray. 

My parents were unable to come with me for this phase, because my Mom had just had her own set of appointments the day before at the same hospital, and thus could not take off another day of work. So, I woke up bright and early to the sound of rain, and caught a train at 5:07am with my Auntie Julie. We decided to take an early train so that we would have time to get to Union, catch a subway, find our way through the hospital, and check in before my first appointment. 

We decided to sit on the top level in the train, but quickly realized that talking is frowned upon that early in the morning, so we moved to the first floor. Once we reached Union Station, we were lining up to get off the train when I felt a poke on my back. I had no idea who it was, but when I turned around, it was a very dear friend of mine who I had not seen in a long time! I was so surprised and so happy! It turned out that he was walking in the direction in which we needed to go. It had stopped raining, it was warm out and we were all going the same way. Julie and I skipped the subway and walked with my friend until we parted ways - him towards his work, and us towards the hospital. 

As we continued walking, we happened to be right near City Hall and Nathan Philips Square where the giant glowing TORONTO sign is. The area was completely deserted and it was so calm. Since it had rained, the square was covered in water and the sign reflected off the water so beautifully. We had got to Toronto a lot earlier than expected, so we had a lot of free time to stop and take pictures and take our time walking to the hospital. 

Once we reached our destination, I signed in and waited for my name to be called for the first appointment of the day; blood work. After the waiting room emptied out, one person came in while I was sitting there and the nurses called him before me. I gestured to them to say that I had a number and I was before that man. Turns out they had called my number and I had missed it! I then got in right away and the nurse that was helping me was very sweet. There were so many coincidences that we noticed; her sister's name is Riley (my middle name), our last names were spelt very similarly and she even went to college in Oshawa. I also had my giving key necklace on and she asked me about it. I was able to share with her about the word on mine, courage, what the company does and what you are supposed to do with your key. She then looked up the website right there while she was putting stickers on my (9) vials of blood. 

Then we had to go to another area of the hospital where all the rest of the tests would take place. I forgot to mention that I had to fast for my blood work first thing in the morning, and so I hadn't eaten since 7pm the night before. Once I checked in at the next area, the receptionist told me that she would be able to squeeze me in for an X-Ray right then and there. Originally it was scheduled as my last test of the day at 12:45pm and I would have had to fast until then. I was so thankful that I got there early enough and ahead of schedule so that my day would be a little shorter and I would be able to eat a lot sooner. 

After the chest X-Ray, I had a test called a GFR Renal Scan where they injected me with a radioactive fluid. I then had to lay on a table and the table moved into position where these 'cameras' took pictures of my kidneys. The radioactive stuff makes my kidneys and bladder light up very brightly so then can see how they are functioning. It was so cool so to see my two little kidneys on the screen! 

I had some time in between two phases of that one test where Julie and I decided to walk over to the Eaton Centre. It was so close by, it took us less than 10mins to walk there. I ended up getting all my little bit of Christmas shopping done and I even got a new dress for upcoming Christmas parties! 

After I came back and finished the last parts of the Renal Scan test, I moved on to my last and final test which was a CT scan. I had never got one of these before and I didn't know what to expect. It was not bad at all, as I got to wear only hospital gowns (2) which were so comfortable, and I got to lay on yet another table with a pillow. This machine moved me in and out of a scanner that was scanning my abdomen. For this test I had a different injection that makes your whole body warm and it makes you feel like you peed your yourself, haha! But, I had to lay there for over 20 mins so I snuck a little cat nap in. 

Finally, all was done and Julie and I decided to go back to the Eaton Centre to have lunch! I finally could eat!!!!! I was so excited. All day I had felt light headed, so tired and being poked and prodded with multiple needles and injections was very painful. So we went to the food court and I got the best lunch; fries with chilli, sour cream, cheese, onions and tomatoes on top! mmm mm mmm. so good. 

 

We caught the train home, on which we both slept, and I have been reflecting on this day ever since. 

I absolutely cannot get over how BLESSED I am. I noticed God's favour on me all day. He blessed me beyond measure and went above and beyond what I ever expected. I prayed all week leading up to this day, that God would go before me and bless the day for when I got to it. I was thinking it would be nice that I get there on time and I don't pass out, etc. But God, gave me the most unexpected surprise on the train by allowing me to bump into my good friend, and then from there on out, I felt His presence and grace upon me. The nurses, the timing of the appointments, my Auntie Julie being so absolutely wonderful, finding the perfect gifts for my family for Christmas, no rain, warm weather, the list goes on. 

Never doubt God. Always trust Him and believe that He will answer your prayers. Pray with specificity and with passion, He will answer those prayers - but sometimes He will answer them in ways you never had imagined. God's grace is unmerited favour and kindness that we don't deserve, and I 100% felt that today. I felt all the prayers and love from my close friends and family, and I saw God in everyone I encountered and everything that happened. 

This journey is so rewarding! It's challenging and next year is quite daunting, but my family has God on our side and He goes before us and is working things out for when we get there. We have seen Him answer prayers time and time again, even down to the smallest tiniest thing like a number on a piece of paper. We know He will answer our prayers and bring healing to my momma through my kidney. 

I trust God with all I am, which means I am ready for anything. 
In omnia paratus