Monday 17 March 2014

a new urgency

i struggle with wanting to know the details of every event in my life. i want to know everything; who, what, when, where, why and how. but i am learning that one cannot know everything. and i have to put my faith and trust in God for the outcomes of situations. 

right now, i am faced with a situation in which i do not know the details of. i need to start eating healthy and exercising. there is an urgency for me to start taking care of my body. firstly, because i know i should do this for my own health and for myself. but, like many others, i am lazy and i don't feel the need to always be worried about healthy food choices or being active. and secondly, i have an opportunity to possibly save a life. 

my mother has acute kidney disease. her kidneys are functioning at only 21% and they are dropping rapidly. her kidneys have been pretty stable, but at her last 3 month appt we found out that they dropped 8%, which is huge. 

upon finding out that my mother has this disease, i prayed about it and came to the conclusion that i would donate a kidney to her when it came down to that. i want my mother at my wedding and she means the world to me. this body isn't mine, it is a gift from God and if i have a kidney that i literally do not need, then i am more than willing to give it to my mum. 

but, since the recent drop in her kidney's functioning, the process of assessing whether i am fit for donating to her will soon begin. we have to see if we are a match. after, i will have my own team of doctors and psychologists to assess me personally. my body health and my mental health. 

this is why there is a new urgency for me to eat healthy and keep my body active. i do not want anything that i can control, to be a problem for me to donate. i don't know how this will all turn out. i do not know if i will be fit to donate, if we will be compatible, or if it will work. i do know that God is bigger, God has a plan and that God will be there with us through whatever happens. 

and so, i am ready for anything. 
In omnia paratus.  

1 comment:

  1. I hear you Jess, I feel that same urgency. You may be seeing less of your auntie in the next few months ;)

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